"You shoulda been here Chicken!"
The day started with extremely annoying (but always life-saving) ringing of the telephone.
"Wake up!! Time to go buy a buggy, Kaz-mass!" my dutiful (and oddly punctual) girl-Friday orders unto me.
A can of Diet Vanilla Coke was my breakfast, and out I went. My beautiful but occasionally unpredictable British convertible (is it just me, or does this remind you of someone we know too?) awaits in the darkness, San Francisco at 5:45AM.
"Please start....please start.." praying, I turn the key on the ignition and Brrrrrroommm it went.
"Thank you Elan. You're a good girl"
No traffic all the way to the airport. Parked the car in the somewhat yuppie Valet Parking.
Checked in. No worries. Proceed to the Red Carpet Club. No glitch.
Sit down. Pour myself a cup of oh-so-San Franciscan Hot Latte. Thinking I might just flip through a magazine, it suddenly occurs to me.
"Why am I flying all the way down to Los Angeles, wait for an hour and a half, then take another flight for 45 minutes when I can just fly for an hour and take the train for twenty minutes?"
Original Plan
What I actually did.
Here is a picture from the window on the way down to San Diego.
No brekkie on flight... UA's getting cheap..
Arrived at San Diego Airport. In the cab on the way to the station.
San Diego Santa Fe Station
Locate a KIOSK. Immediately proceed. Purchase breakfast. Well, sort of breakfast.
Nuked Sausage Egg Muffin with Diet Pepsi. Mmmmmmmm..... Breakfast of the Champions...
Train arrives.
"All aboard!"
Inside.
Scene from the window near Del Mar.
Finally I arrived at "Oceanside" station. I am so excited I kept having to swallow my heart which was insisting on coming up into my mouth.
And there he was. And there she was.
Bob Arthur and (still) his buggy. "Heeeeey Kaaaaaaz! What's up doooooode!"
Bob was a real pleasant So-Cal surfy dude. I could almost hear Albert Hammond singing,
"Seems it never rains in Southern Califoooooorniaaaaahhhh...."
Not only was he kind and super friendly, he was a total perfectionist, which is exactly the sort of bloke you want when you are buying a car from him.
"It's like the cleanest buggy, y'know, I ever seen, maaan. Like I get compliments and stuff all the time!" And it was.
We got to his house. I handed over the cheque. Drooling more than average Milo the whole time.
And off I went into the blue yonder called Orange County.
Curly Driver on Pacific Coast Highwaaaaaaay!!!!
Here I'm like, like, like I'm, eh, thinking, y'know, like, this is totally bitchen, dude, y'know? Is this, like, sooooo NOT Tokyo or what!!!
So I keep driving., and driving. having the time of my life.
And the sign appears above.
"Let's see, where am I.... L-O-S A-N-G....what!!!!???? Los Angeles!!??? Oh my Gaaawwwd!! I overshot Orange County by 50 miles!!"
I arrived downtown Los Angeles.... Sod it, I keep going! Quickly I decided that
this is too fun to give up.
So I proceed NORTH!
I drove for good two hours.
With no particular reason at all, I decide to pull over and stop.
I look up. And behold, what do I see?
This is where I was parked and called Japan for permission.
Of course after I hung up, I went in and bought a shirt, a sweat and six boxershorts.
Back on the road again.
"Seems it never rains in Southern California Seems I've often heard that kind of talk before."
"It never rains in California But, girl, don't they warn ya, It pours, man, it pours..."
I drove and drove and drove....
And I drove. The sun started to set, the wind got chillier and chillier. In fact it started to get bloody freezing.
So I pull over again. Put on my newly acquired BR "pullover" (ha ha)
And off I went again.
I had been driving since 12 noon and it is almost 8:00PM at this point.
The sun finally set, and all of a sudden, it got unbearably cold.
My hands were like icicles and my face was immobile...buurrrrrrr.....
After another hour or so, I really had to stop. So I went into a truckers' diner in a town called Salinas.
When I walked in, EVERYBODY looked at me. Thinking this was odd, I went into the men's room. Then I discovered why.
My hair is all over the place, I am wearing three layers in Southern California, and my face and eyes are totally RED!
"Bugger it" I went back out and sat down very decidedly and muttered "c...c....cc...coff...coffee... please..."
The girl got me that cup of coffee faster than you can say Mississippi. She must have thought I was dying or something.
After thawing and defrosting for about 10 minutes, I called you. The waitresses totally leaving me alone at this point.
Having thoroughly thawed, I ordered this:
Southern Fried Streak with Mash and Beans. Yeeeey!
When I got to my parents', BOTH of them came out because the car sounded like an immense sawing machine going berserk.
Yogi just said, "Oh, what are you doing here?" but NEVER taking his eyes off the car. Typical.
Mum made me tea and we sat down. I explained what it is that is parked outside but he quipped "I know I know".
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Anyway, I finally arrived at 11:20PM. So I almost drove for 12 hours!! Oh how time flies when you fly....
I really really wish you were here.
I mean not here here at my parents' but here with me, because you would have had a great time, albeit I would have been hearing your complaints every 10 miles...
My arms and my face and the back of my neck are totally burnt. And I am running a slight fever. Probably one of those "I just fucking bought a dune buggy" kind of fever, I suspect. So I sleep now....
